Help us Walt, you’re our only hope. (Updated)
October 30th, 2012




If it’s true that Disney has just bought Lucasfilm, then Star Wars nerds can finally have hope for a blu-ray release of the original theatrical versions of the original trilogy.

For too long we’ve been held hostage to the personal artistic visions of George Lucas who, like Stalin airbrushing his enemies out of state photographs, carefully disappeared the original theatrical cuts so that Gredo could shoot first, CGI spectacle could muddle up Mos Eisley, and a young Hayden Christiansen could appear to Luke Skywalker and automatically make him realize that he’s his dad.

Now Disney’s corporate greed could give us the product we’ve always craved. All hail Disney corporate greed!

Unless, that is, the fine print on the agreement stipulates that Lucas maintain control over the cuts of the Star Wars movies. Which wouldn’t surprise any of us, would it.

Update: Dear God! Galley Friend Ben Domenech has done the unthinkable–he listened to the director’s commentary on Attack of the Clones!

Oh, the humanity.



  1. Fake Herzog October 30, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    “and a young Hayden Christiansen could appear to Luke Skywalker and automatically make him realize that he’s his dad.”

    I thought Lucas only inserted Hayden in the famous scene at the end of “Return” when Luke, who already knows Darth is his Dad at this point, sees a force-like vision of the three people who have died and are important to him — Ben, Yoda, and Darth. Originally, Darth was played by the actor whose name I’m forgetting who was under the mask — then Lucas fussed with the film and put Hayden in the scene.

    Or is there another scene that I’m forgetting about?

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  3. Galley Friend J.E. October 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Worst news in the announcement is that Lucas will be a creative consultant on all new films.

    Episode 7 is going to be a prequel to the prequels with Buzz Lightyear piloting the Centennial Falcon.

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  5. Joe October 31, 2012 at 10:43 am

    As a Star Wars fan I felt that I had forgiven so much. The simple fact that I could so identify myself, given that only two of the movies are even any good (IV and V), should have proven my cred. I simply pretended that Jar Jar Binks never happened.

    But it all changed for me with a single laser bolt. At first, Gredo’s shot was aesthetically offensive to me (it leaves his blaster at a 30 degree angle, for one thing), insofar as it fundamentally changes Han Solo’s character for the less-scoundrelish. As I reflected, though, my offense deepened. I came to see it as an expression of Hollywood’s values. Sitting at a table, intercepted by a bounty hunter who has declared his intent to kill him (“Over my dead body.” “That’s the idea.”), the hero still must give his assailant the first shot before he can defend himself. Han wasn’t being a scoundrel, he was just being smart. As a soldier and now a cop, my goal is to be like the real Han, not the digitally moralized Han.

    And so now I tell people that I’m not a Star Wars fan, I’m a Han Solo fan. They had better recognize which Han Solo, because that snapping sound they just heard from under the table wasn’t me opening my leather-bound journal to record my feelings about having a gun pointed at me.

    Wait, that didn’t make me sound like a nerd, did it?

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  11. Ben October 31, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    In my defense, there was a lot of alcohol involved.

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