September 4th, 2007
During this past Labor Day weekend, TNT broadcast Titanic on what seemed a continuous loop. So every now and then I would check up to see when things got interesting (i.e., the sinking) and ended up watching it from about halfway to the end credits.
A few observations, ten years later:
1. The acting is often terrible. The Italian and Irish stereotypes (Danny Nucci as “Fabrizio” and Jason Barry as “Tommy Ryan”) are exceedingly over the top. On the other hand, James Cameron could not possibly have cast anyone better than Bernard Hill (Theoden!) as the captain. And yes, that was in fact Ioan Gruffudd playing an officer.
2. The movie contains one of the worst lines ever: When the old Rose (Gloria Stuart) explains to the crew and her daughter that “not even your grandfather” knew about Jack Dawson, she says: “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.” I’m getting seasick.
3. So Jack and Rose emerge on deck after having sex in the backseat of a car. As they kiss, the lookout officers ogle them for a few seconds. Then the men look up and notice the “iceberg right ahead!” Had the officers not been distracted, they might have spotted the iceberg a bit earlier. Could the Titanic have been saved in those few precious seconds? In other words, should we hold Jack and Rose responsible for the sinking of the Titanic? I think so.
4. Old Rose’s decision to throw the “Heart of the Ocean” into the deep rather than giving it to Bill Paxton, her granddaughter, or some charity is unforgivable. (Okay, maybe not to Bill Paxton.)
5. Rose survives by floating on a wooden plank while Jack swims next to her. I still believe it was big enough to support both of them.
6. TNT’s large and animated promos that appear on the lower right corner of the screen are obnoxious. For a second, I thought Kyra Sedgwick and Holly Hunter were also drowning in the North Atlantic.
7. That breathy song was, is, and always will be a terrible, terrible song.
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