About P. Diddy–Updated
June 23rd, 2015

From my piece over at Acculturated:

So P. Diddy, née Puff Daddy (née Puffy, née Sean Combs) has been arrested. Not for toting gats where the true players are at. Not for selling more powder than Johnson & Johnson. Not even for running all up in the club and sipping Bacardi (or Cîroc) in an egregious manner, when it was not, in fact, his birthday.

No, Mr. Diddy was arrested after an altercation with a UCLA football coach. And while the details of the incident are disputed, the crux of the affair is not: Diddy was upset because he believes that the coach is mistreating his son, who plays for the UCLA football team. In other words, Diddy was arrested for being a hockey mom.

There’s more. Including me calling Puffy the Peter Lorre of rap. As the kids say, sick burn.

Update: From Galley Friend X:

Snoop Dogg put P Diddy’s helicopter-parenting to shame, for almost a decade. It’s like he’s Snoop Dogg, Tiger Momm.
The best part: Snoop’s and Diddy’s sons both play for UCLA!

  1. SkinsFanPG June 23, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Awesome piece. A few notes:

    Yes, the gangsta rappers grew up to embrace the bourgeois life, but only the ones that survived. Pac and Biggie (RIP) are the two exceptions. And of course, everyone knows Suge had them killed, and is still killing people.

    BTW- I listen to “It Was a Good Day” several times a week. Still amazing. Probably best rap song of all time. But no chance did he mess around and get a triple-double. I’ve done the math. He would have needed to score 10pts (at least) and dish 10 assists (which would account for 20pts, or 10pts if you’re only scoring a pt/bucket). Who plays pickup games to 30pts (or 20pts)? Also, anyone ever seen Ice Cube? He’s like 5’5″, no chance he’s getting 10 boards on an LA blacktop. No chance. I’m calling bullshit on Cube’s claim.

  2. REPLY
  3. Jason O. June 24, 2015 at 10:39 am

    I feel for Diddy’s son…if you’re on a power conference football team and if your parents are still hovering, I guarantee you’re taking unending, next-level shit from your teammates. It’s probably worse if said parents are famous. Diddy’s kid had better be a human seeking missile in full pads practice, special teams, and when he gets snaps in games…he’s likely unable to play “loose,” because he has to prove himself over and over again.