Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
December 7th, 2005




Forgive my lateness in posting this. I think the clock is slow.

I always thought Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen would defy the odds and stay together for a long time. And I guess, in relative terms, 24 years is a long time together. In any event, a publicist for Bertinelli reported yesterday that the two, who have been separated for four years, have officially divorced due to irreconcilable differences.

At the time, I thought it was the best of both worlds–having a hot wife and being in a great band. Sure there were excesses, and few thought it would last, but why can’t this be love? And while nobody said it’d be easy, you just have to roll with the punches to get to what’s real. (I know, I’m pushing it.)

Yeah, we’re runnin’ a little bit hot tonight. I can barely see the road from the heat comin’ off of it. You reach down, between my legs…

Okay, now that was gratuitous.

Nevertheless, perhaps we should have seen this coming: In 2004 Van Halen told Guitar World that “I’m back, I’m black, and I’m chasing young, white meat.”

Poor Valerie Bertinelli. She’ll just have to take it one day at a time.

Okay, I’m done.



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