August 1st, 2012
This blog began in 2004 basically because of Russian gymnast Svetlana Khorkina. Here’s the first post about her:
Obsessing over Svetlana Khorkina tonight, I caught NBC’s Very Special Package on the Russian gymnast. “I know that people look at me,” she says to the camera. “They watch me.”
“I have been great for a long time,” she says.
Speaking of these Olympics, she tells the NBC crew: “I want to win as badly as I want to mother my own child. . . . I will go there and get what belongs to me.”
I mention this only as an excuse to re-re-link to the greatest Cintra Wilson column of all time about Khorkina: The Movie. Totally, completely epic:
Later that night in the competition, Sveta advances to the parallel bars — her strongest event — but, after several mind-boggling swoops through the air, misses the bar and falls miserably onto her knees. She stands on the mat, humiliated, her sequined leotard torn at one shoulder, rivulets of body glitter streaking down her cheeks along with her tears.
“As Jesus is watch me, I will never, never,” she growls, clenching her fists, “never let one of those little bitch win me at the event again, as long as I am alive. I will eat her face.”
Thunderous music. The crowd applauds for Sveta despite her terrible failure. Sveta beats her breast and bites her cheek hard enough to enable her to spit blood at the audience, cursing them all in Russian: “May you have four generations of harelipped children!”
One of Sveta’s young protigis wins a separate event, against her. Crying with joy, the younger girl runs to Sveta for approval. Sveta whispers: “Go away from me and die, you tiny whore.” She smiles and hugs the confused girl for the cameras.
What makes it all so perfect is that it’s maybe half a degree off from the real thing. Here, for instance, is the Khorkina discussing her competition at the 2004 Olympics:
“These little girls don’t have my experience, my maturity and my pleasure to the public.”
Svetlana Khorkina–maybe the greatest heel in the history of sports. I miss her.
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Dude, they need to have her in Skyfall instead of blonde Anton Chigurh.
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Ever since the Cold War ended, putrid personalities have been the only intrigue. Makes me miss the commies.
Galley Wife August 1, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Man, I remember that first post, and how for weeks thereafter I often said, “Get away from me and die, you tiny whore!” But only to you, which didn’t make sense. But I couldn’t really find another place to use it.