March 15th, 2012
Galley Sis M.A.L. sends in the following hilarious note about her NCAA picks:
My March Madness bracket from last year was done based on mascots, specifically, which mascot could beat the other mascot in a fight. Sadly, this did not work and I came in close to last–although not dead last–in my pool.This year I’m doing a slightly different take. It’s still based on mascots, but only cats win (or cat family, e.g. tiger, wildcat). If a cat wasn’t in the match-up, then I picked the bear (or bear family). Because I love bears, obviously.If neither a cat nor bear was in it, the next decision branch was “animal always beats human.” And in the case of animal vs. animal (or human vs. human) the fiercer one won.At the end of the day, my Final Four came out as Kentucky, Baylor, Kansas State, and Cincinnati, with Missouri over Cincinnati in the final.
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I can’t stop laughing. This is pure MAL. SCIENCE!
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Does she realize that the eventual winner has to, you know, be part of the Final Four?
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MAL, does anyone have a polar bear mascot? Because, well, clearly. I mean, clearly. I hope you win the whole thing. That would beat the year CJP came in second in the pool, though he was still in utero. Vic has never quite forgiven me for that. 🙂
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A.S. – Oops, that’s what happens when you e-mail your brother too early in the morning and you misread your bracket…. Ok, the real final four: Kentucky, Missouri, Cincinnati, and Ohio. Missouri over Cincinnati in the final.
Galley Wife – If there was a polar bear mascot in the bracket it would clearly win.
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Bowdoin College’s mascot is the polar bear. D-III counts.
I somehow knew this, and only used Wikipedia for confirmation. Really. I feel a bit like Cliff Clavin.
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I knew you’d come through for us, Wershoven. Shouldn’t Bowdoin’s mascot be someone dressed up like Joshua Chamberlain? Complete with bayonet?
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I had to go to Wikipedia for the Joshua Chamberlain reference.
The image there is wonderful. He looks rather scrawny and milquetoast IF you ignore the massive, manly mustache. With the ‘stache, he’s about as virile as one can appear in a staid 19th C. photo.
Probably would’ve worked better as a mascot back when Bowdoin was all men.
Amherst still has as their mascot the Jeffs or Lord Jeffs, or some such crap. In D-III land, Nike and Old Navy aren’t selling your swag, so they can still revel in marketing-unfriendly mascots.
Case in point, go Black Squirrels!
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I’ve actually been trying to find a not-gift-shop-crappy Chamberlain bust for my desk, mainly because of the mustache–but CML has recently developed a bizarre yet intense fear of men with facial hair, so I think I have to hold off.
Want to know what Smith’s “mascot” is?
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While the animals are fighting it out, Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt is busy engineering a coup d’etat in Nicaragua so he can build a fast railroad pre-Panama Canal. Also, other completely bad-ass robber baron-ish things.
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What is Smith’s mascot? (I’m not going to look it up.)
I know Bryn Mawr’s is an owl, although since their called Mawrters, I like to picture a venomous Joan of Arc-type burning at the stake.
It could be something completely anonymous and non-descript, just like the college’s name.
I also picture two mascots, dressed up as doughnuts, jumping and chest-bumping each other. (Sorry, I just had to go there. I mean, it’s Northampton. That stuff happens there.)
Or perhaps there is no mascot, since mascots are rooted in the patriarchy.
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Bingo. Being the nondescript, noncontroversial “Smith College Pioneers” was not enough. After all, weren’t a lot of pioneers, well…men? No, instead of a mascot, we have a “spirit mark.” It’s supposed to evoke “sisterhood.” Of course. Also, it cost 30K to design.
It looks like a vaguely possessed, extraterrestrial, and rather masculine Statue of Liberty head. Or maybe one of the Furies — it’s definitely angry. Why wouldn’t it be?
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It’s a little sad when the mockery turns out to be the truth. So my non-descript AND my patriarchy guesses win.
I thought the doughnuts were a longshot, but Dunkin’ Donuts is MA-based, so hey, why not?
If ‘sisterhood’ is so important, why not the Smith Sisters? Yes, it’s alliterative.
On second thought, maybe it’d be better for Spelman, instead.
Galley Sis March 15, 2012 at 12:47 pm
That was my initial thought as well. But, as soon as I Googled images for a Bear-Cat, that went right out the door. A Tiger cub is infinitely cuter.