Overall, the revamped Law & Order is kind of terrible. They’ve restructured the opening to be more like Criminal Intent and less like the original formula where some bystander doing a great bit of business would happen upon the aftermath of a crime. And last night’s farewell to Jesse Martin was terrible because it was so leading-character-driven. What is this, CSI? Part of the genius of Law & Order is that it’s never actually about our protagonists. When Curtis or Briscoe left, it wasn’t because they had become part of the story! (This didn’t hold true for the ADA’s, of course.)

All of that said, there was a small and very wonderful moment last night when we are told that Lenny didn’t just leave, but that he later died. It’s one of the only times I can ever remember an off-screen, real-life intrusion feeling perfectly natural and earned in a work of fiction.

And let’s praise the amazing work of Sam Waterston as the new DA. In the service of reinvigorating the Jack McCoy role, Waterston has played him as almost an entirely different character. McCoy has shed his old manners and habits because he realizes that his office requires him to be more than himself. Waterston’s job here calls to mind Ian McKellan’s choices in transforming from Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the White, where he chose to play them as almost two different characters.

Top Chef fans: Was anyone else surprised that Jennifer was eliminated last night, considering Antonia and Lisa didn’t even follow the rules, not wanting to cook a kielbasa and substituting a chorizo instead? Lisa in particular showed utter disdain for Polish sausage. And I did find Jennifer and Stephanie’s phallic concept humorous, though the execution of it led some to think less of the asparagus, goat cheese, and salad as a menage a trois and more like an orgy.

On the other hand, Jennifer can now rejoin her partner Zoi, who was eliminated in an earlier episode. They no longer have to cook to impress and strive to be über-creative. Instead they can just cook out of love and make something simple.

Perhaps a muffuletta?

(Q: Were you really wondering about the judges’ decision or was that all just a run-up for an extremely crass pun? A: I was truly concerned. And who doesn’t love a muffuletta? Q: True, but if that’s the case, why did you use italics? A: It’s an exotic term. It wouldn’t have been the case if, say, I said “hot tuna casserole.”)

That was what we chanted at football games while I was at Moorestown High in the early ’90s. Because we were oh so clever. (Our mascot was the Quaker.) Also because the football team sucked. Moorestown was an idyllic little burg back then, full of peach orchards and dreams. This was back before Blair Hornstein and a silly magazine article calling it the best town in America.

But as circumspect as we were about our cops, we never imagined they were this bad:

More charges have been filed against a Burlington County police officer who was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.

Authorities announced Moorestown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

Melia and his former girlfriend, Heather Lewis were previously charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault and one count of criminal sexual contact with three girls in his Pemberton home from 2003 until 2006.

I sure wouldn’t want to be at the next kegger Moorestown’s Finest breaks up.

Sonny Bunch has a nice item up about Robert Downey Jr.’s chemical and political reformation. But it got me wondering about this:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to remember some reports about Downey during his nadir that he was becoming unemployable not because he couldn’t handle the work, but because the insurance costs of having him as part of a production were too steep. Maybe I’m misremembering this, but I feel like it was some time around his Ally McBeal stint.

Even if I’m misremembering, though, and the insurance costs weren’t prohibitive for using Downey, surely they must have been, at least during his bad period, quite a bit higher than they would be for an equivalent actor (like, say, Colin Firth).

All of which leads me to wonder: How in the world was Favreau able to use Downey as the lead in a giant, super-budget, Summer action movie? Did the studio just eat the extra insurance costs because Favreau dug in and insisted on Downey, or have the adjusters down-graded Downey’s status so that he’s now judged an normal risk? Whatever the case, this seems like a really interesting little business story that I wish someone would report.

Galley Friend B.W. sends us this link to a wonderful collection of work that Will Eisner did for the Army. Not to be missed.

McCain, Clinton, and Obama were on Raw last night; I wrote something small about it for the Goldfarb Blog. Look how clever I am. I’m not just a mark, I’m a smark!

U say u want a leader
But u cant seem 2 make up your mind.

Oops, he did it again:

Remember, this isn’t the first time.