If you happen to find yourself in Moscow and in need of a rental car, don’t rent a Porsche, even if it’s cheap (I assume it’s not). According to the Daily Mail, approximately fifty Porsches were stolen last year within the Russian capital. The article’s main focus, however, was on the death of Anna Loginova, “Russia’s most famous female bodyguard,” who was killed when carjackers got hold of her Cayenne [though the Mail calls it a Cheyenne]. Loginova, an expert in jujitsu, died from head injuries while holding onto her SUV as it sped away.

As of now, authorities believe the incident was random and not a hit. As the Mail explains, “Loginova ran an agency for female bodyguards, some trained by the ex-KGB, to give discreet protection to Moscow’s billionaires and their wives and mistresses. In a recent magazine interview, she insisted that she and her team of glamorous bodyguards gave better protection than the more traditional beefy male security men.”

“In addition,” said Loginova, “many restaurants now do not allow a guard inside. They can come in and check everything but then they are asked to wait in the lobby. In contrast, you can take female bodyguards inside, she will sit down at the table and nobody would guess that she’s a weapon herself–and can react appropriately in any dangerous situation.”

But could Loginova have been bumped off by a competitor? There is certainly that distinct possibility. So the question is who would benefit the most and the answer is clear. She is surrounded by her own female bodyguards and lives on a floating palace in India.

And her name is Octopussy.

I’ve long been fascinated by Starbucks because they managed to sell America not on a product, but on a miniature lifestyle. They called “third place,” but I think of it more as the old office water cooler. Suburban Starbucks have their own logic, but in cities, Starbucks has replaced the water cooler as the place employees go to hang out for 10 minutes while taking a break. And they pay $4 to do.

The problem with selling a lifestyle and not a product is that “lifestyle” is even easier for competitors to duplicate. If you’ve been following the news for the last couple months, Starbucks is in a panic because first Dunkin Donuts and now McDonalds are coming after it.

Starbucks’ first move to fight back is axing their inedible breakfast sandwiches. (Actually, their pre-first move was to launch a test program in Seattle with $1 coffee and free refills.)

Seems like a smart decision to me. The sandwiches were outside the company’s core competency and didn’t really fit with what they were selling. Starbucks was never going to be a place people go to for nutritional sustinence.

Expect to see more big changes.

I used to be a fan of the actress Sean Young. I thought she was perfectly hot and slightly bothered in No Way Out and did just fine in Stripes and Dune. And then she went slightly off-kilter. (Ask James Woods.)

But I seem to have missed this juicy tidbit from the recent DGA awards, as reported by the Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES–Sean Young has entered rehabilitation for alcohol abuse following a weekend outburst in which she was heckling from the audience at the Directors Guild of America awards.

“It was degrading,” she said in an Entertainment Weekly article last year. “But when you have nothing to lose, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Probably. First Things has Cardinal Dulles posting a parody of Keats.

Suddenly, I feel like the entire promise of the internet has been fulfilled.

It’s subtle, but you’ll laugh a lot.

WIMB has the devastating pic.

Just to tidy up a few things:

* In regards to the post about former-WWE wrestler Gangrel moving into porn alert GS Reader A.W. notes that Marcus “Buff” Bagwell may have been the first to do so. Obsessed With Wrestling says that he did some soft-core work, but doesn’t give any citations. IMDB has him in two direct-to-video T&A flicks, one of which is called L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach.

* After seeing the Tom Cruise as Batman item, GS Reader P.G. wrote in with this observation:

I watched the Cruise video and came away extremely depressed to learn that Frank Mackey was not an act or a character at all, he was “Tom Cruise: Scientologist”. The greatest performance in Cruise’s career was just him being himself.

It’s like the world is flipped upside down. Frank Mackey is no longer a brilliant performance, and every Cruise character that is halfway normal should now be considered for an oscar retroactively. Clearly the guy is batshit insane, any character he plays on screen that comes across as normal should be taught in a master class on acting.

So true. I’ve always said that Cruise was an under-rated actor.

* Finally, Galley Brother B.J. has Super Bowl thoughts:

Pats vs. Giants: I’m pulling for a meteor. Actually, that’s not true, I’m pulling for a meteorite. I know, I know–think of the collateral damage. But that’s the beauty of the game being in Arizona: There won’t be any. Arizona before meteorite–barren wasteland/desert. Arizona after meteorite–barren wasteland/desert with a big hole in it. (Maybe, Arizona Tourism Board could attract plug it as the “New Grand Canyon.”)

I really can’t choose a team to root for, though. So instead, I’m pulling for Eli to have a historic performance (either 10 TDs & no picks or 5 first have Ints) because I think that would be fantastic.

* 10 TD game–Imagine Eli’s MVP speech: “Hey, Tiki, who’s soft now?” “Look dad, I already have as many Superbowl rings as Peyton, now do you love me?”

* 5 first half Ints–Giants first play of the 2nd half “Eli drops back, throws, & misses his receiver. Let’s look at the replay, wait something’s happening–Eli’s wandering around on the field taking off his uniform & pads, and I think, yes, it looks like he’s crying.”

The Journal has a great piece on the crash of banks inside Second Life.