Sure, this is all perfectly safe for work, but let us not play games. We are not children. This video of the SU-37 is pure porn. And it’s awesome.

(Link courtesy of Galley Friend M.G., who also has posted similar video of the F-22.)

Send a Mars Bars; save Veronica Mars.

It worked for Roswell.

Bonus: T.R., you should send about 50 of them.

I don’t quite know why, but I think that 90 percent of the time, bleeped out swearing is funnier than hearing the actual dirty words. (The notable exception to this being certain South Park cursing sprees.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJL5dxgVaM]

Steve Czaban is the best sports talk-radio guy in America. Or at least the one whose own personal obsessions align most closely with mine. I can’t get enough of him. You can catch his Fox Sports Radio show during morning drive time in many markets or on XM.

He’s been following Michelle Wie’s implosion pretty closely because (a) he’s a golf nerd and (b) he’s a Wie hater. (Aside: If she does manage to salvage her career, Nintendo needs to have Wie Wii Golf, no?)

Czabe has a column up on Wie that’s pretty hot:

Even if you want to believe the convenient “Look At My Wrist, It’s Bandaged!” excuse, it doesn’t explain what a train wreck she was last week. A bum wrist doesn’t explain total ineptitude.

Playing partner Alena Sharp said she thought Wie would withdraw at the turn. “She didn’t look like she was there,” Sharp said. “She didn’t focus like usual.”

Chris Baldwin of Travelgolf.com makes an excellent point: “If your wrist is so hurt that you cannot play two more holes, do you immediately start talking about playing 72 the very next week?”

Robert Thompson of OntGolf.com noted Wie’s cryptic — if not dishonest — answer to a legitimate question at that week’s press conference about the comeback from her injury. When asked when she had recovered sufficiently to resume playing, Wie claimed not to remember. “I don’t really want to go back into the past and talk about the injuries,” she said.

Except when you need that injury to avoid a one-year ban from the LPGA Tour; then, she’ll be happy to tell you all about it.

There hasn’t been an injury this convenient since Al Czervik in the big money match at Bushwood: “Oooh, my arm! I think it’s broken!” . . .

The choice not to dominate junior ranks first, amateur ranks second, college ranks third, the LPGA next and then — only then — take a stab at making a PGA Tour cut is a disastrous decision the full effects of which are just now beginning to be felt.

Great golfers at some point learn to hit the shots that are easy on the range, in the furnace of competition. They learn how to close.

Wie skipped all of that. And there’s no turning back. It would be like building a house with tainted cement, and sub-grade lumber. From the outside, it’ll look like a nice house. But, nothing will be right inside. Nothing.

Remember Allison Stokke? Of course you do.

She recently vaulted to national fame when the Washington Post ran a front-page story on her pernicious internet celebrity. Here’s a snippet from the piece:

Stokke read on message boards that dozens of anonymous strangers had turned her picture into the background image on their computers. She felt violated. It was like becoming the victim of a crime, Stokke said.

Stokke’s family, including her father, Al, seemed to agree with her and be concerned about how terrible her new-found celebrity was.

With Leather gently hints at the irony here: Al Stokke is a noted defense attorney in Orange County and has tried a number of high-profile cases:

* In early 2007, Al Stokke represented a cop who pulled over a female motorist. During the course of the traffic stop, he somehow ejaculated onto her sweater. Said Stokke, “She got what she wanted. She’s an overtly sexual person.” Stokke won the case.

* In 2005/2006 Stokke represented a female teacher who was charged with molesting three of her male students, one of whom was 11 years old. “Where was she when I was 13?” Stokke asked the jury. Stokke lost that case.

Charming. But With Leather does not mention what is probably Stokke’s best-known case, the Haidl gang rape. In 2002 three young men raped an unconscious minor. They videotaped the assault. Stokke represented the lead rapist, Gregory Haidl. Here’s the OC Weekly‘s account:

Defense lawyer Al Stokke, who replaced lead trial attorney Joseph G. Cavallo, questioned any link between the rape and the victim’s claim of mental anguish. Stokke also mocked the girl’s physical injuries, finally conceding she was unconscious but then trying to use that against her. “There’s [no pain] that is felt,” he said, “because she was unconscious.”

Stokke “conceded” the girl’s unconsciousness because the defense had originally insisted that she was just faking it.

This is the concerned father who was so upset by his 18-year-old daughter’s picture being posted on the internet. Which is just like becoming the victim of a crime, right?

You don’t have to wait for the Criterion version of The Transformers because The Bay took time out from banging starlets to talk with Yahoo. Explaining why there are flames on Optimus Prime, Bay says, “Why flames? Because I wanted flames.”

Yes!

Jenny Vegas has the funniest Posh Spice line maybe ever.

AICN, one of my favorite sites, has devolved into a bizarre, non-stop promotional tour for Eli Roth’s new torture-porn movie, Hostel 2. Roth is buddies with AICN’s proprietor, Harry Knowles. Lots of readers at AICN have revolted and the comment boards are filled with criticism of Roth, Hostel, and, in particular, Knowles. Here’s Knowles defending himself against one ill-tempered talk-backer:

And who are you? I’m well over 7,000 friends on Myspace…

Well that’s an argument ender.