This picture of Katherine Harris was in the NYT yesterday. The only way to get through this is to talk about your feelings.

Thanks for all those who chimed in. It’s good to know we were missed. By all 19 readers. We missed you too!

Just a few thoughts. During our hiatus, Mr. Last has been busy on his Philadelphia Inquirer columns and was away at sea on The Weekly Standard cruise down the Mexican Riviera. Mr. Skinner gave birth to a new baby boy. Okay, maybe Mrs. Skinner did most of the work. Still, we are all very proud that his boys can swim! As for me, I had come down with a nasty flu. As it turns out, handling Chinese poultry carcasses and forgetting to wash your hands really isn’t a good idea.

While we are in the midst of redesign, allow me to pass on this amusing link. The German Coast Guard has been a very important part in the war on terror. Nevertheless…

Now that we’ve succeeded in driving away three of our four readers, I wanted to let you know that the Galley Slaves will return, probably next week, maybe sooner.

Not that you care. Nor should you.

But just so you can’t say that I didn’t warn you: The blog will be different and, in all probability, even more useless than it was in its first incarnation.

I’m sure you don’t think that’s possible. But we’ll prove you wrong. Just wait.

Scheduled for publication this May, Michael Schiefelbein’s latest novel, Vampire Transgressions, continues the story of Victor Decimus, a 2,000-year-old vampire struggling to follow the rules for survival: Don’t associate with other vampires and, once he’s convinced a human to take his place, immediately depart for the “Dark Realm.”

But Decimus is in a bind, having fallen in love with his human replacement, whose name happens to be Paul. Yes, according to St. Martin’s Press, “the two enjoy an intense life as vampire lovers, living in Georgetown and mingling at their private nightclub where little is forbidden. But their transgression is not taken lightly and agents for the Dark Realm are now on the prowl, looking to enforce the rules and, if necessary, punish Paul and Victor by threatening all that remains precious to them.”

Imagine that: Vampires in Georgetown!

The sheriff of Spotsylvania County, Va., has announced that his detectives, while pursuing suspected prostitutes, will no longer go all the way with them and then charge them with said crime. In bringing down the nearby Moon Spa, local law enforcers spent $1,200 in “massages” and one officer even left a $350 tip. Sheriff Howard Smith said the repeated visits were necessary “so detectives could build trust with the operators” and that sexual contact was required for a conviction.

But, as noted by the Associated Press, “law enforcement officials say undercover officers only need to get an offer of sex for money to move the case forward.”

On the other hand, Sheriff Smith said his men needed the sex “because most professionals know not to say anything incriminating. And conversation is difficult, he said, because masseuses at the Asian-run parlors in the northern Virginia county speak little English.”

Good point. And besides, haven’t we all seen Full Metal Jacket?

An IOC panel has found Russian biathlete Olga Pyleva guilty of using carphedon, a banned stimulant. As a result, Pyleva loses her silver medal–the first such incident at the Winter Games.

Dr. Nikolai Durmanov, who heads the Russian Anti-Doping Committee, blamed Pyleva’s doctor for giving her a medication containing carphedon to treat an ankle injury. Said Durmanov, “This was 100 percent the physician’s mistake.”

It is unclear how else Pyleva may be penalized. But the larger question is what will happen to the doctor.

“Send him to Siberia!” you say?

Actually, the doctor is from Krasnoyarsk. Which is in Siberia.

A Galley Slave reader had mentioned this and I’ve just finished reading it. I’m talking about Gene Weingarten’s essay for the Washington Post, “The Peekaboo Paradox”, about Washington children’s entertainer Eric Knaus, aka The Great Zucchini.

Knaus earns $300 for making kids laugh, does about eight shows a weekend, and has no idea where the money goes. (But Weingarten does take a side-trip with him to Atlantic City.) All in all, an exemplary piece of reporting.

The California Supreme Court has found that the writing staff of Friends was not guilty of sexual harrassment even as the scribes joked, in the workplace, about masturbation, genitalia, and had recourse to certain names for the female sex that women do not at all like, you know, those words starting with B and C. here