Mike Russell has digitally remastered them for your viewing pleasure.

Here’s some very cool and exciting news in the field of military science and technology. Two conventional submarines have just been commissioned and are considered to be virtually invisible to sonar. The subs are “driven by air-independent propulsion. The use of fuel cells markedly increases the sub’s radius of action. Hydrogen and oxygen combine in the fuel-cell module and are converted into electricity. Water is the only waste product that remains. This cutting-edge propulsion system enables the … submarines to move virtually noiselessly underwater, thus making them very difficult to detect.”

Awesome. The subs are designated … U212A … and are made … in … Germany … Uh oh.

How could I forget to mention Tuesday’s ruling by a Maryland judge in a case of a man who mooned a woman and her 8-year-old daughter? After an argument broke out between 44-year-old Raymond McNealy and Nanette Vonfeldt last summer (regarding a homeowners’ association meeting), McNealy decided to end things by mooning her while she was accompanied by her daughter. At issue before Judge John Debelius III was whether this constituted indecent exposure. Debelius called the act “disgusting” and “demeaning,” but again, in the end, did not deem it indecent exposure, which, according to an appeals court in another case, “relates to a person’s genitals.”

On the one hand, Judge Debelius is right that “If exposure of half of the buttock constituted indecent exposure, any woman wearing a thong at the beach at Ocean City would be guilty.” On the other hand, the prosecutor argued, “This was not a bathing suit scenario. This was a grown man exposing himself to an 8-year-old girl.”

I’d like to add that a man in a thong should definitely be charged with indecent exposure and prosecuted to the fullest extent. I’ve been to the Caribbean and I still have nightmares.

Puns I spared Galley readers in this post:

“turn the other cheek”

The latest dust-up in the District centers around the rescheduling of the Martin Luther King Day parade. Normally taking place on King’s birthday, a federal holiday in January, a committee decided that cold weather might hinder attendance. So the parade has been pushed back to April 1. Needless to say, parade planners and other activists were more than a little upset by the new date. But the committee says it didn’t mean to have it coincide with April Fool’s Day. In fact, they rescheduled the joyous parade to commence the weekend before April 4–the day King was shot and killed. As one activist told the Post, “If you want to commemorate an assassination, that should be something that is done with some solemnity. You don’t commemorate a person’s assassination with marching bands.”

And just who was responsible for appointing this committee? None other than our beloved former mayor, Marion Barry.

It’s so good that it hurts. Chris Parnell is an angrier Reihan Salam. Sample:

“You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we’re dropping Hamiltons.”

Yup, that’s the largest known prime number. Written out, it’s 2 to the 30,402,457th power, minus 1.

Happy New Year.

Redskins fans can breathe a sigh of relief as it’s just been announced that assistant head coach for defense Gregg Williams has renewed his contract for another 3 years, reportedly worth $8 million. (Yes, the one great thing about owner Daniel Snyder is his money. It’s clearly no object. Case in point: his desire to purchase the ailing Six Flags amusement park franchise.) Earlier it was rumored Williams was a top candidate for the head coaching jobs at St. Louis and Kansas City.

Thanks to Galley readers who clarified the city-to-city wager and Mayor Williams’s offer of chili dogs–a respectable bet considering that venerable institution, Ben’s Chili Bowl. Props to “utron” for suggesting a barrel of pork.

But it was blogger Duane who took us down memory lane by linking to an age-old post, dating back to last April, by fellow Galley slave Jonathan Last, who envisioned a 16-0 season for his beloved Eagles. This was clearly before the departure of T.O. (for good) and McNabb and the ascendancy of Dettmer and McMahon. One anonymous reader had then predicted the Eagles would lose twice to the Skins. Kudos to him as well as Duane.

The other travesty of last Sunday’s game in Philly I had forgotten to mention was the tossing of beer at Clinton Portis’s mother (who supposedly fought back before ending up on the sideline). Fans then turned their rage against Eagles coach Andy Reid, who needed security to help him out of the stadium.

Well, well, well. Who would have guessed the Washington Redskins would be headed to the playoffs this year? Unfortunately not I, who predicted a more dismal 7-9 season. Oh me of little faith. And that’s what it came down to, didn’t it? Gibbs having faith in a 35-year-old QB who many (including myself) believed was all washed up. Faith in a trade of Laveranues Coles for Santana Moss. Faith in a trade of Champ Bailey for Clinton Portis. And in the end, it all worked out. Even without LaVar Arrington, right?

The Post‘s Mike Wise thinks it’s the other way around: “Most people in the organization believe they learned to win without Arrington. They have no idea that they won in spite of how they treated him.” And how they treated him is indeed a travesty.

Another travesty was the so-called bet between Washington and Philadelphia. Since Washington won, we get the free cheesesteaks. But had Philly been victorious, we were supposed to offer up that great Washington classic. The … crabcake?