This report on the fretting about Atom Egoyan’s new movie’s potential NC-17 rating is hysterically funny in its duplicity. To wit:

An explicit sex scene involving two men and a woman in Canadian director Atom Egoyan’s latest movie is expected to earn the film a prohibitive rating in the U.S. that, if sustained, will “severely limit” its box office there, Mr. Egoyan predicted yesterday. . . .

. . . given what Mr. Egoyan calls “the very conservative climate in America,” he and the film’s North American distributor, Toronto-based ThinkFilm Inc., “strongly suspect” it will be rated NC-17. This means no one 17 years of age or under in the U.S. will be allowed admission, even if accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.

While “Where the Truth Lies” has some tough violence, nudity, lesbian encounters and drug-taking, it is a sex scene involving stars Colin Firth and Kevin Bacon and the film’s female lead, 29-year-old Rachel Blanchard, that seems to be giving U.S. adjudicators trouble — something U.S. observers told Mr. Egoyan he might expect after the movie’s world premiere in May at the Cannes film festival.

“I guess I’m naive; I really had no idea it would be a problem,” the director said at that time. . . .

But besides restricting the audience, an NC-17 classification likely would limit the marketing potential of the movie in the United States. . . . As a result, “that severely limits the commercial opportunities of the film,” Mr. Egoyan said.

Break me a fucking give. This is Atom Egoyan we’re talking about here, not Rob Cohen. An NC-17 rating is not going to hamper his box office performance because his movies never make any money!

Egoyan’s last four full-length feature films have done the following business:

Ararat – $1.5 million
Felicia’s Journey – $820,000
The Sweet Hereafter – $4.3 million
Exotica – $5.1 million

That’s not opening weekend, that’s total domestic gross. In real, constant dollars, the economic impact to Egoyan of an NC-17 versus an R will be about $3.75. If he’s really broken up about it, I’ll treat him to a Venti Frappuccino and we’ll call it even.

Pile on top of this Egoyan’s theatrical fretting that an NC-17 will keep the lucrative teenage demographic away from his movie, as if the crowd that goes to see Bad Boys II was really looking forward to Egoyan’s precious art film.

And let’s not even touch Egoyan’s ludicrous worry that it’s the “very conservative climate” in George Bush’s fascist police state that’s contributing to the MPAA’s rating. (We all know that the MPAA is just another one of Karl Rove’s puppet organizations.) I’ll just say that, without having seen Mr. Egoyan’s Where the Truth Lies, movies with tough violence, nudity, drug-taking, and graphic sex are precisely why the NC-17 rating was invented.

Of course Egoyan must know all of this. But how could he be expected to pass up a chance to preen and play the martyr.

Here’s a great example of why I love Hugh Hewitt:

The Post’s Amy Goldstein called the office again yesterday, seeking an interview about John Roberts. I again offered her as much time as she needed, but conditioned the offer on the interview being conducted on air. She once again cited the desire not to lose control of her story, and the fact that her editors would react negatively to my approach. Fine, I relayed back through Radioblogger, my producer. No harm, no foul. No interview.

Forget the off-angles he’s playing with the Post here (which is pretty hysterical), and check out what a happy warrior he is. And here’s the thing: That’s not schtick. Hugh really is one of the most genial guys you’ll ever meet.

If only my New Yorker would get here soon so I could read the Nic Lehmann profile of him. Unlike Hugh’s friend, I won’t be at all surprised if the piece turns out to be pretty great and very fair.

I’ll say it again: The New Yorker is (still) the great magazine of our day.

Michael Crowley has a post about evil GOPer Jack Abramoff based on this U.S. News story:

I’ve followed the Abramoff story closely, and this installment is a pretty familiar rehash of the basic narrative. But a couple of things in it struck me. One is that the Justice Department has been poring through fully 500,000 of Abramoff’s emails. That’s a reminder of just how much of the conservative lobbyist’s enthralling secret world remains unrevealed, despite all the national coverage to date.

500,000 emails? Does that figure sound right to you?

If we assume that DoJ is interested in the period beginning with the 1994 Republican take-over of the house, that means that Abramoff sent out and/or received 500,000 emails in 10 years, or 137 emails a day, every day for an entire decade, including the mid-’90s, when email was hardly a household convenience.

None of this is meant as a defense of Abramoff or the enthralling secret world of conservatism, of course, but that number does seem awful fishy.

Bonus: Funniest J.A. joke yet, courtesy of Uncle Grambo, “Jack Abramoff? But I hardly even know him!”

. . . you will now. From the summary of his appearance on The Daily Show:

Wallace asks if Stewart’s claim to fame is going to be discovering Steve Carell. Oh snap, yo! Man, Wallace, I know you didn’t just step over that line. Hell no. The audience erupts in playground “OHH”s. Stewart chuckles at the response and asks Wallace, “Do you realize that you’re surrounded by my audience?”

That’s right: Lock it up.

Patrick Ruffini is running the most comprehensive and interesting online straw poll I’ve ever seen. It’s well worth taking a look at and casting a vote if you’re a GOP voter (or a troublemaking Dem looking to pump up Chuck Hagel).

With a counter-intuitive post declaring that Bill Weld will defeat Elliot Spitzer in the NY Gov. race. Remember, this is the guy who called the Red Sox 0 games to 3 victory over the Yankees–ingore him at your own peril.

New Yorkers, please be cognizant that this is what things have come to: Not only do the Red Sox now dominate the Yankees, soon you’ll be electing our hand-me-down as Governor. What greater proof could there be of Boston’s primacy?

No, you lock it up!

How awesome is this story?

The guests thought they were headed to an early afternoon wedding on a yacht docked near Atlantic City in the United States.

They ended up in jail instead, courtesy of an elaborate ruse by U.S. federal authorities hoping to bust up an international smuggling ring. . . .

The affair was seven months in the making, and the bride and groom were actually undercover FBI agents who worked with the accused smugglers for several years, said Christopher J. Christie, the U.S. attorney in New Jersey.

“Invitations were sent out, a date was given and RSVPs were received from different points around the world,” Christie said at a Justice Department news conference.

“One guest even brought a pair of gold Presidential Rolex watches,” New Jersey FBI Special Agent in Charge, Leslie G. Wiser Jr., told reporters in Newark.

They were assured transportation would be provided to the yacht. They were taken into custody instead.

Lock it up!

Not that you care, but for now I’ve added word verification to comments in an attempt to disuade comment spam. This spam started as a trickle over the last couple weeks but went a little crazy today. So now if you want to leave a comment, you’ll have to type in a word. It’s annoying. Sorry.