Galley Friend M.C. sends along this incredible diary of a fellow who has kept the same game of Civilization going for 10 years. It’s epic:

-There are 3 remaining super nations in the year 3991 A.D, each competing for the scant resources left on the planet after dozens of nuclear wars have rendered vast swaths of the world uninhabitable wastelands.

-The ice caps have melted over 20 times (somehow) due primarily to the many nuclear wars. As a result, every inch of land in the world that isn’t a mountain is inundated swamp land, useless to farming. Most of which is irradiated anyway.

-As a result, big cities are a thing of the distant past. Roughly 90% of the worlds population (at it’s peak 2000 years ago) has died either from nuclear annihilation or famine caused by the global warming that has left absolutely zero arable land to farm. Engineers (late game worker units) are always busy continuously building roads so that new armies can reach the front lines. Roads that are destroyed the very next turn when the enemy goes. So there isn’t any time to clear swamps or clean up the nuclear fallout.

-Only 3 super massive nations are left. The Celts (me), The Vikings, And the Americans. Between the three of us, we have conquered all the other nations that have ever existed and assimilated them into our respective empires.

-You’ve heard of the 100 year war? Try the 1700 year war. The three remaining nations have been locked in an eternal death struggle for almost 2000 years. Peace seems to be impossible. Every time a cease fire is signed, the Vikings will surprise attack me or the Americans the very next turn, often with nuclear weapons. Even when the U.N forces a peace treaty. So I can only assume that peace will come only when they’re wiped out. It is this that perpetuates the war ad infinitum. Have any of you old Civ II players out there ever had this problem in the post-late game?

-Because of SDI, ICBMS are usually only used against armies outside of cities. Instead, cities are constantly attacked by spies who plant nuclear devices which then detonate (something I greatly miss from later civ games). Usually the down side to this is that every nation in the world declares war on you. But this is already the case so its no longer a deterrent to anyone. My self included.

-The only governments left are two theocracies and myself, a communist state. I wanted to stay a democracy, but the Senate would always over-rule me when I wanted to declare war before the Vikings did. This would delay my attack and render my turn and often my plans useless. And of course the Vikings would then break the cease fire like clockwork the very next turn. Something I also miss in later civ games is a little internal politics. Anyway, I was forced to do away with democracy roughly a thousand years ago because it was endangering my empire. But of course the people hate me now and every few years since then, there are massive guerrilla (late game barbarians) uprisings in the heart of my empire that I have to deal with which saps resources from the war effort.

-The military stalemate is air tight. The post-late game in civ II is perfectly balanced because all remaining nations already have all the technologies so there is no advantage. And there are so many units at once on the map that you could lose 20 tank units and not have your lines dented because you have a constant stream moving to the front. This also means that cities are not only tiny towns full of starving people, but that you can never improve the city. “So you want a granary so you can eat? Sorry; I have to build another tank instead. Maybe next time.”

That’s just the start of the awesome. There’s then the comments. And an entire thread about trying to end the Eternal War.

The world needs Matus to weigh in on this. (Obviously.)

It’s one thing to advocate for socialized medicine, orthodox diversity, and a Department of Peace, but now the Nation has gone too far. They’re rooting for . . . the Miami Heat!

I would argue that how we choose to see the Heat and Thunder is a litmus test. It’s a litmus test that reveals how the sports radio obsession with villainizing twenty-first-century athletes blinds us to the swelling number of villains who inhabit the owner’s box. And in Oklahoma City, we have the kinds of sports owners whose villainy should never be forgotten.

And so the studio has asked Damon Lindelof to come in and save the film’s third act.

Just to watch Santino’s head explode.

As has become the norm, I saw very little of the French Open. But a few thoughts from the sidelines:

* Grantland had a column offering advice to Andy Murray and calling him “in terms of pure ability, one of the 30 or so best tennis players ever to pick up a racket.” My opinion of Murray is awfully high. But that strikes me as overstating his gifts. Possibly by quite a lot. That said, I’d kind of enjoy with the essay suggests–a full-fledged heel-turn by Murray. And this line describing Ivan Lendl is gold: “the tennis player most likely to commit murder in a Coen Brothers movie someday.”

* Galley Friend P.G. writes in concerning Maria Sharapova’s career Slam:

Sharapova has to be the worst female to win the career grand slam, right? (I’m not qualified to judge players from the ’40s and ’50s.) She also has the oddest career grand slam of either men or women, with 1 title for each slam and 8 years separating her first and last. I wouldn’t even put Sharapova in my top-5 of the past decade or so.

I think I’d probably agree with most, if not all, of that.

Yet at the same time, I’ve come to appreciate and admire Sharapova. And kind of even like her.

Remember, Sharapova came of age when the Kournikovazation of the women’s game was in high swing. She was pushed on us relentlessly as a Face. Endorsements, ads, the silly-fancy tennis dresses. She was more commodity than player. And it turned out that while she was a good player, she wasn’t great. Or even close to great.

When Maria Sharapova was blanketing the airwaves with commercials for cameras, clutching a ridiculous purse dog and batting her fake happy smile, I always assumed that she’d make her money on endorsements, become a professional celebrity, and wash out of the sport in a few years.

Instead, she hung around and did what good-not-great players have to do: Grind.

Early losses at the U.S. Open. Ball-toss problems that basically destroyed her serve. Recurring shoulder injuries. She kept grinding. In 2007, she was the top seed at the Australian Open and in the finals she was humiliated, collapsing against an unseeded, out of shape Serena Williams and losing 6-1, 6-2. After that, I suspected her career might be over. But she kept coming back for more. I kind of love that about her.

Maybe my favorite Sharapova moment was a post-match interview after getting bounced from the 4th round of the 2011 Australian Open:

Q. Did you feel comfortable out there tonight?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Did it look like it?

Q. I just didn’t think you were quite there.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Yeah, definitely wasn’t there. You know, not many things were working. I think it was just one of those days. Yeah, just not a good day at the office.

“Not a good day at the office.” I think it’s pretty hard not to love an athlete like that.

Courtesy of Galley Reader J.O., we have this very interesting interview of Chris Nolan.

He comes across as both impressive, emotionally well-adjusted, and self-aware–more architect than artiste. He seems like a real grown-up.

It’s filled with lots of good stuff on the crafting side of movie-making. For instance: Nolan only uses a single camera and doesn’t use zoom lenses–he repositions his camera and switches to a different lens. Also, he doesn’t use a second unit, because, “If I don’t need to be directing the shots that go in the movie, why do I need to be there at all? The screen is the same size for every shot.”

And it was glorious.

(Via The Transom.)

I’m sorry, you want more awesome?

Maybe the greatest essay every written about sports conspiracy theories. Patrick Hruby covers everything from the 1985 NBA draft lottery to Dale Earnhardt’s 2001 Daytona victory. (And lots more.) It’s an epic piece, amply foot-noted. High-level awesome.

Everything you wanted to know about the Bride of Stuxnet.