“Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.” — Forrest Gump.”We have put all our rotten eggs in one basket and we intend to watch it very carefully.” — Colonel Von Luger, “The Great Escape”- Enjoy, Klug

Not to point out the obvious, but what about “Leave the gun! Take the cannoli!”

“The good news is, it works.” –Bob Harris in “Lost in Translation,” referring to the whiskey he is getting paid 2 million to endorse

Don: Talk to me, Gal. I’m here for you. I’m a good listener. Gal: What can I say, Don? I’ve said it all. I’m retired. Don: Shut up. – Sexy Beast

Speaking of the Princess Bride, other favorites:”Am I going MAD, or did the word “think” escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.” Vizzini to Andre the Giant “Never go in against a Sicilian when Death is on the line.” — Vezzini, just before dying”Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped.” — Prince Humperdinck. How great is it that the six-fingered man is named Tyrone?

(Without a doubt, the best movie line ever can only be seen with a proper ID and stature. The movie is tucked away in the evidence room of a Mid-Atlantic FBI office.)Marion Barry: “Bitch set me up…”

Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams: “Dad, wanna have a catch?”Steve Buscemi, Reservior Dogs: “And this non-college bullshit you’re telling me, I got two words for that: ‘Learn to fuckin type.'”

Wait, Private Ryan dies? Thanks for ruining the ending, buddy.

From “The Royal Tenenbaums”Chas: We got locked out of our apartment. Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, did you call a locksmith? Chas: Uh huh. Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, I don’t understand. Did you pack your bags BEFORE you got locked out? and even better,Eli: I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her. She’s married you know. Richie: Yeah. Eli: And she’s your sister. Richie: Adopted.

From the greatest movie of all time, A Philadelphia Story — George says, “You’re like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You’re so cool and fine and always so much your own. There’s a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue…It’s what everybody feels about you. It’s what I first worshipped you for from afar.”Tracy says back, “I don’t want to be worshipped. I want to be loved.”

“The Lord says he’s going to get me out of this mess, but I’m pretty sure you’re fooked”David O’Hara (?) “Braveheart”

Emperor Joseph II: Your work is ingenious. It’s quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that’s all. Just cut a few and it will be perfect. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?Jeffrey Jones and Tom Hulce, “Amadeus”

Also from Airplane:Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow, we’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 18:00 hours. We’re coming in from the North, below their radar.Elaine: When will you be back?Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

“I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being trodden on and crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.” “It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.””As long as there’s, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.” “Here lies David St. Hubbins … and why not?””They were still booing him when we came on stage.””We traveled the world: The world and beyond” “Well, I’m sure I’d feel much worse if I weren’t under such heavy sedation.” And of course…”These go to 11!”

“the pity of bilbo may rule the fate of many”” don’t know half of you half as well as i should like, and i like less than half of you half as well as you deserve””bilbo baggins! do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks. i am not trying to rob you. i’m trying to help you.”-LOTR FOTR

A couple favorites:”I do wish we could chat longer. But I’m having an old friend for dinner.” – Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs”The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But, baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again.” – Terence Mann, Field of Dreams

also:”There’s no crying in baseball!” – A League of Their Own (Tom Hanks)-d.l.

“See, Mr. Gittes, most people never have to face the fact that, at the right time and the right place, they’re capable of … anything!”John Huston “Chinatown”

Ferris: “Cameron is so tight that if you took a lump of coal and stuck it up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”-KP

From Reefer Madness: “I’m going to ask you a straightforward question: isn’t it true that you have, perhaps unwillingly, acquired a certain habit through association with certain undesirable people?”

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”Kevin Spacey “The Usual Suspects”

Three from The Maltese Falcon…Sam Spade: People lose teeth talking like that. If you want to hang around, you’ll be polite.Kasper Gutman: I couldn’t be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, its possible to get another. There’s only one Maltese Falcon.Sam Spade: My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but Mrs. Spade didn’t raise any children dippy enough to make guesses in front of a district attorney, and an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.

I’d nominate the closing line from “Lone Star”: “Forget the Alamo.”I’m also partial to the following exchange from “The Royal Tenenbaums”, which is too long for these purposes, but what are you gonna do?Chas: Why’d you try to kill yourself?Richie: I wrote a suicide note.Chas: You did?Richie: Yeah, right after I regained consciousness.Chas: Can we read it?Richie: No.Chas: Can you paraphrase it for us?Richie: I don’t think so.Chas: Is it dark?Richie: Of course it’s dark, it’s a suicide note.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner. –Dirty Dancing

Two classics from Animal House: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son” and “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

“That’ll be the day.””We’ll find her, I promise you that. Just as sure as the turnin’ of the earth.”-John Wayne in The Searchers”I will not have violence against this house.”-Dustin Hoffman in Straw Dogs, right before all hell breaks loose.”Let’s go.””Why not.”-William Holden and Warren Oates in The Wild Bunch, right before they go off to the final showdown.”Thy mother mated with a scorpion.”-Anthony Quinn in Lawrence of Arabia”There is no hope for man.”-Christopher Lee in Fellowship of the Ring”The laws a funny thing, aint it?”-Kris Kristofferson in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid”Would it really bother you if one of those dots stopped moving? If I offered you five hundred pounds for each of those dots would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money? Free of income tax, old man, free of income tax.””In Italy under the Borgias they had war, murder, famine and bloodshed but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and the Renaissiance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, four hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”-Orson Welles in The Third Man

Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!” The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

“Boo, you whore!”–Mean Girls

” I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” Don Corleone. ” The God Father

I love him like a brother. David Greenglass.–Crimes and Misdemeanors

I am pretty partial to:”Badges??? We don’t need no stinking badges!!!!” from “Treasure of the Sierra Madre””Here’s looking at you kid” from “Casablanca””Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberry” from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail””Its not the age its the mileage” from “Raiders of the Lost Ark””I was wondering Albert, If you gave the monster half your brain, what did the monster give you??” from “Young Frankenstein”

All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband. ——Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally

“You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.”~ Steve Martin

“Finally, we come to my number two man. His name? Number Two”- Austin Powers”There are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary. And there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.”-Bull Durham

three flicks that are loaded with great quotables: the godfather, fargo and (my favorite) cool hand luke. I’ll pick “Now what we have heah, is a failure to communicate.”

The Big Lebowski is the source of many of the greatest movie lines of all time. What follows is just a smattering of the brilliant dialog in the film.An exchange between The Dude and Maude Lebowski:Maude: “Do you enjoy sex Mr. Lebowski.”The Dude: “Sex?”Maude: “Yes. The physical act of love. Coitus.”The Dude: “You mean, coitus?”The Dude to Bunny Lebowski upon learning a man lounging on a pool raft is a nihilist:”A nihilist, huh? That must be exhausting.”The Dude and Walter discussing Jesus Quintana, with a shot flashing to Jesus going door to door to explain his sex offender status to his neighbors.The Dude: “F….n’ Quintana… that creep can roll, man.” Walter Sobchak: “Yeah, but he’s a pervert, Dude.” The Dude: “Yeah.” Walter Sobchak: “No, he’s a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.” The Dude: “Oh!” Walter Sobchak: “When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.”The Dude filing a police report regarding his stolen car.Officer: “And was there anything of value in the car?” The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh… a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh… uh, my briefcase.” Officer: [expectant pause] “And in the briefcase?” The Dude: “Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers,…business papers.” Officer: “And what do you do, sir?” The Dude: “I’m unemployed.”

From Casablanca, perhaps the best last line on any movie, “Louie, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”Also from Casablanca, “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine.”

You can’t handle the truth.

“A man’s gotta do what he thinks is best.” John Wayne, in Hondo, to a guy who has just said of Wayne’s dog, “If he barks again I’m gonna shoot him.” P.S.–the dog barks; the man does nothing.

The entire script of “Casablanca”. Too much good stuff to pick out one quote. Ditto on “The Maltese Falcon”.Village elder in “The Seven Samurai”, when one of the villagers asks him how they will be able to convinve any samurai to help them when all they can offer them is three meals a day:”Find hungry samurai”. Toshiro Mifune in “Yojimbo”: When the bad guys chalenge him to a duel:Bad Guy: You think you can kill me? Go ahread and try!”Mifune: “It’ll hurt.”When he stats to go into town to save the old man armed only with a fish knife:Coffin maker: You’re going to fight with that?”Mifune: “I’ll make sashimi out of ’em!”After he has kiled all the bad guys:”Now this town will be quiet.”

“Mr. Rat you are to cease and desist forthwith from eating Chin Lee’s corn. I’ve got a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of same.” John Wayne in “True Grit” to some vermin and Kim Darby.Later: “I wouldn’t be scared of no booger man neither, if I had a big ole horse pistol like that.” A Drunken Rooster Cogburn to an ever annoying Matty Ross of Dardanelle in yell County, Arkansas

I’d love to kiss you, but I’ve just washed my hair.~ Bette Davis (From ‘Cabin in the Cotton’ – screenplay by Paul Green)

Maid Marian: You speak treason!Robin of Locksley: Fluently.Olivia de Havilland and Errol Flynn, The Adventures of Robin Hood

The worst ain’t so bad, when it actually happens.Curtin to Howard in The Treasure of the Sierra Madres

“Mr. Rat you are to cease and desist forthwith from eating Chin Lee’s corn. I’ve got a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of same.” John Wayne in “True Grit” to some vermin and Kim Darby.Later: “I wouldn’t be scared of no booger man neither, if I had a big ole horse pistol like that.” A Drunken Rooster Cogburn to an ever annoying Matty Ross of Dardanelle in yell County, Arkansas

Slim Pickins to the Japanese sailors who are trying to get him to give back the compass they need and which he swallowed:”I’ve been constipated all week and there ain’t a thing you can do about it.You ain’t getting shit out of me.”From “1941”

From Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the BombPresident Merkin Muffley: Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room. —or—Dr. Strangelove: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn’t you tell the world, EH?Ambassador de Sadesky: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.

From Kate & LeopoldCharlie: We have a saying in the McKay house: “You shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none will come, and then a lot’ll.”

Arnold Schwarzenager in Conan the Barbarian:OUT!

Tramp: Be careful how you’re driving.Drunk rich guy (while driving): Am I driving?– “City Lights”

Will: Do you like apples? Other guy: Yeah. Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?–Good Will Hunting

I find it hard to believe no one’s quoted Gigli yet.

“The world needs ditch diggers too, Danny.” Caddyshack.

“Papa, can you hear me?”-YentlJust kidding. I swear. Just kidding.

“Some things in life you just can’t ride around” – Randolph Scott in Budd Boetticher’s “The Tall T””You know, I’d have to have to kill you” – Lee Marvin”I’d hate to have you try” – Randolph Scott, from Budd Boetticher’s “Seven Men From Now””I don’t know my way home” – David Warner”That’s alright, neither do I” -Dustin Hoffman, in Sam Peckinpah’s “Straw Dogs””Which room is everyone in?” – Stanley Baker, in Joseph Losey’s “Accident””Prew, I showed ’em” – A dying Frank Sinatra in “From Here To Eternity”

From “Time Bandits””Oh … so THATs what an invisible barrier looks like.”

The problem with best lines is that it dovetails right into one-liners. The true greats evoke something more than just an individual moment by encapsulating the film’s larger theme. “My child, you have come to me my son. For who now is your father if it is not me? I am the well spring from which you flow. When I am gone, you will have never been” – Conan The Barbarian”Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man” – Taxi Driver”Television is reality, and reality is less than television…After all, there is nothing real outside our perception of reality, is there?”- Videodrome”Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects… don’t have politics. They’re very… brutal…No compassion, no compromise…We can’t trust the insect…I’d like to become the first… insect politician” – The Fly (1986)”I’m the bad guy? How’d that happen?” – Falling Down …And about a dozen from Wall Street.

From Raiders of the Lost Ark:”I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go along.” From Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom:”He’s not nuts. He’s crazy!” Short Round responding to Willie’s exclamatory question, after realizing that Indiana Jones was going to cut the rope bridge over the alligator-infested river.From Ghostbusters:”Now there’s something you don’t see everyday!”Peter Venkman upon seeing the gigantic Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacking New York.From Along Came Polly:”Dude, I sharted”Ben Stiller’s gross friend’s excuse for leaving a party early, by describing his unexpected and unfortunate flatulo-defecation episode.

City Slickers – Mitch: Kill anyone today, Curly.Curly: Day ain’t over yet.

“Initiative comes to thems that wait,” Alex, A Clockwork Orange

“Conversation just kinda dried up” — John Wayne in the Undefeated, explaining why a gunfight broke out

This is my favorite put-down line of all time. MUST be said with a honey sweet Southern accent and a smile. Originally said by Bette Davis in a movie from the early 1930’s, “Cabin in the Cotton”, I think.”I’d love to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair”

Joe Gideon, speaking to God, in ALL THAT JAZZ:”What’s the matter? Don’t you like musical comedy?”

From Dr. Strangelove:”You try any preversions in there, I’ll blow your head off.” — Okay, maybe you had to have been there for that one, so:From The Big Sleep:”She tried to sit on my lap while I was standing up.”Or this exchange from Plan 9 From Outer Space:”Modern women.””Yeah, they’ve been like that all through history.”

From “Predator”, one of the greatest “guy” flicks ever. After a brief firefight, one of the specfor fighters notices fellow warrior Jesse Ventura is bleeding from a cut on his face. Ventura, without averting his stare into the surrounding treeline replies: “I ain’t got time to bleed..”

“Just like a wop to bring a knife to a gun fight.”-Connery, Untouchables”Shee-it, you shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize.”-Keitel, Reservoir Dogs

Win the whole FUCKING thing. Jake Taylor- Major League

“Bond, James Bond”From any Bond movie, by any Bond Character.