May 5th, 2006
Bill Simmons gives us the first round wrap-up, and this gem:
Terrell Owens in the stands wearing a Kobe jersey. Too many jokes … too many jokes … head might explode …
Also, this one:
Dirk Nowitzki. Simply annihilated Pau Gasol in their head-to-head matchup to clinch “Best Foreign Big Man Alive” honors, capped off by a Bird-like 3 to send Game 3 into overtime and pave the way for an eventual Dallas sweep. I like how he added that sneering, Detlef-like German swagger this season; it’s pushed him to another level. You can almost imagine Hans Gruber yelling at him to go find John McLane in the Nakatomi building, followed by Dirk calmly saying, “I vill find him,” and reloading a massive machine gun.
And finally, this:
Which reminds me, if Kobe doesn’t completely eviscerate Bell in Game 7, everyone on the planet is banned from making any more Kobe-MJ comparisons. We all know that MJ would have dropped 55 on Bell, shut down Nash on the other end and disemboweled D’Antoni for good measure. Kobe, if you’re going to steal MJ’s fist clench/shake from Game 1 of the 1998 Finals without asking, you need to take this all the way. You cannot lose Game 7. You can’t. Even if you’re playing 4-on-5 and Jax keeps refusing to play Vujacic.
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